I am sick of the way the world works. I am tired of forced smiles and unnecessary conversations. I am sick of watching my back every minute, because the people you hold close to you can be the very ones who can stick a knife in your back without battering an eyelid. I am tired of people asking me 'how are you?' because it's an question i can never quite answer. Do I say 'oh im fine and good' or do I say 'i'm feeling quite off edge today, i'm feeling a lack of purpose, some days are bad and some days are better than others?'. I am sick of watching people around me try so hard for the popularity they crave. I am tired of boys who smell good and tells you that you're pretty and breaks hearts for a living. I am sick of people around me using one another as a scratching post for their selfish desires and desperate need to curb their loneliness. 

last week was a good week because i got to see so many people i love in one day (and that's very very rare because we're all always so busy). let's hope this week would be as good a week as the last :> (even tho it's highly unlikely because so many projects and deadlines)

June

so here's the reason behind our smiles: 

me: eh don't smile eh

kim: but then if we don't smile we will look like bitches 

me: but we are what

*burst out in hysterical laughter* yeah you get the point HAHAHAH 

let's just say june have had its fair share of good and new experiences and bad and regretful ones. i had so much fun though, rekindling with old friends always has a therapeutic effect to me. i love how some things don't change, especially in a world thats constantly morphing. ( on a side note, prim if you ever see this, i miss you quite terribly :'( ) it has also been a month where i've done a lot of self-reflection (or more like beating myself up) but if anything i'm striving to constantly be happier even when it's impossible to be. 

so damn thankful for everyone around me, the few that stayed and never left. 

here's to july: a july where happiness is my priority and so is studying hard, a july where i stop and notice everything good around me, a july where i stop being so damn fucking annoyingly negative about everything.